Obviously I have a golden ticket to get into corporate hospitality; but unfortunately that doesn't bypass the rain or traffic.

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Arriving at the wrong entrance, I have to drive across the circuit to get were I need to be (that first left hander is a mite tricky in the wet). The public areas of the course resemble a refugee camp, art directed by Millets. Groups of sodden punters huddled round a £3 cup of tepid Bovril as the rain lashes against their cagoules.

It brightens in the afternoon, and I join them, briefly, on Hamilton Hillock; before returning to the champagne bar.

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So I'm getting lunched at a very fine restaurant just off Bond St. The food is delicious, as are the waitresses. The mademoiselle assigned to our table is telling me how she's just come over from Paris, she doesn't know anyone, and she's really looking forward to exploring London.

I must confess I'm not particularly paying attention. So it's only afterwards, when I'm on the tube, that the penny drops - ah, that's what she was saying to me.

Bugger...........

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is what I do at the moment.....................

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Hang around outside until they can bother their arses to open up; step over the cans and bottles from last night's piss-up; root under the unmanned information desk to try and find some details; rely on your phone's gps to find your way around the building - and it's not a bad show............

For me, this was probably the stand-out piece.

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I thought I couldn't hate New Labour any more. I thought I'd reached absolute loathing. I was wrong.

This week, figures are released showing that after a decade in office they've done pretty much sod all to improve child poverty levels. The Government chooses to use it's time offering the Unionists £100's of millions in political bribes to help them bring back internment.

There's no starker illustration that this Government is morally bankrupt.

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Wapping has noted the comments by the charming Iris Robinson.

Now like most people, I find religious bigots 'disgusting, nauseous, loathsome, shamefully wicked and vile'. I view intolerance as an abomination. But I wonder whether sometimes we're being a little hard on them.

I know people say it's genetic, that they were born bigots, but I don't believe that's the case. I think impressionable people can get drawn into the lifestyle; swayed by the bigot press and images of openly bigoted behaviour on TV.

With strength of character, and a lot of support, I really do think bigotry can be cured.

C'mon people let's get Iris a therapist

Update: there's a facebook group for people to share their views on the lovely Ms Robinson

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Got a call from a pimp the other day telling me how wonderful things were in the job market, and how they were currently recruiting for a position that would suit me perfectly. And I can't deny I was a little tempted. The company in question are pretty decent, and the job title was extremely shagworthy.

It's coming up almost two years with ComfyCorp, and I have been feeling a bit restless. They have been pissing me off, of late - the MD and I are not playing nicely; and I'm not getting much (any) recognition for what I do. But, they're just so damn comfy:

It's an extremely convenient commute

I work about 35 hours a week

They pay me more money than I need

My co-workers, whilst not exactly Wildean in their ripostes, maintain an agreeable level of banter.

But:

If I don't move it is entirely likely that I will be marking the next few decades attending the retirement dos of the people who work at desks adjacent to me; before shuffling off myself.

I haven't phoned the pimp back, yet

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The Mae Shi coming at ya. Coming at ya like a sonic duvet.

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The Teenagers getting down with the kids

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Pray tell, what manner of moron is a Boogaloo Stu????

Over what coke addled luncheon did the BBC producers think our enjoyment of Eurovision would be improved by the addition of this pantywaist poltroon?

I am also going to punch in the face the next person who tells me the voting is 'so political' - recycling someone else's hot air is really not the same thing as having an opinion. Particularly when that opinion is so demonstrably moronic.

It really is time for Wogan to retire; and leave Eurovision commentating to someone who knows what they're talking about.

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No place in the final for

Malta

Switzerland

Czech Republic

Boo!

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